Lessons Learned in the Search for Balance

The following helpful observations and practical suggestions were presented as part of a panel discussion on the topic of Finding Balance: Creative Solutions from Women Lawyers Who have Tried Them, at the Ontario Lawyers’ Assistance Women’s Wellness and Balance Group Luncheon on April 9, 2003.  These were presented by Hilary Linton who shared “Ten Things that I have Learned” from her personal experiences in the search for a healthy, balanced lifestyle and successful career.   

• Awareness:  Work-personal life “balance” will sometimes be an illusion.  At different times in your life you have different goals, energy levels, reservoirs of spousal and collegial goodwill, financial needs and insight.  There will be times when balance isn’t possible.  Be conscious of the choices you are making and why and the repercussions of those choices on you and those around you.  Do not let imbalance become an unthinking, self-destructive habit.

• Check your dependency:  If your professional success is dependent upon a supporting spouse, a dynamite law clerk or a devoted secretary, step back and consider whether you are leaning on others too much.  If you need someone else to keep your practice afloat, they may reach a point of burnout and resentment that is not in the best interests of either of you.

• Respect boundaries:  Be aware of the distinct aspects of you life and be vigilant about enforcing the boundaries between them.

• Never abandon what you love:  If you aren’t putting sufficient energy and time into what you love, you risk losing yourself and the things you love.

• You are not only a lawyer:  Resist the tendency to define yourself solely as a lawyer rather than a whole person.  The practice of law is a career and your work, not your whole life.

• Say “NO” especially to things that choose you:  It isn’t easy to say no to those who seek you out, as clients, presenters, members, directors, volunteers and so on.  If you are already too busy, why overwhelm yourself, especially if the task is not something you have chosen.

• Learn how to relax:  For many, this skill does not come easily.  The skills can be learned and are well worth it.  Yoga, meditation, relaxation clinics and exercise are all effective, but they take a commitment from you to make them work.  

• Stay inspired:  Find the time to read inspiring books.

• Look around:  If you ever wonder whether you might be happier and less stressed doing something else, have a consultation with a career counselor, seek out those who are doing other things and talk with them.  This could lead you in unexpected directions.

• Take risks:  More often than not, risks pay off!

Hilary Linton is a lawyer and mediator practicing in Toronto.  Hilary@riverdalemediation.com